The 'very demure, very mindful' TikTok trend that's taking over social media | CBC News (2024)

Natalie Stechyson · CBC News

· Posted: Aug 22, 2024 4:52 PM EDT | Last Updated: August 23

Areyou very demure? Very mindful? Very cutesy?How canyou know? Turns out, demure comes from within.

Demure is the internet'snewest buzzword made popular byTikTok creator Jools Lebron. Earlier this month, Lebron posted a videothat took social media by storm and has already racked up more than 40.4 million views.

The hair and makeup she's wearing to work? "Very demure. Very mindful," she says in the video. But demure, explains Lebron in an interview with CBSMornings, is about more than appearance.It's a statement of self-awareness and confidence.

"Your demure is what it means to you. It's being mindful and considerate of the people around you, but also of yourself and how you present to the world," Lebron said.

What's delightfulabout this trend is its edge and how it pushes back against historical norms, explains pop culture and digital media expert Shana MacDonald, the O'DonovanChair in Communication at the University of Waterloo.

Once, demure described a more traditional, antiquated form of white femininity, MacDonald told CBC News. Think pearls, perfectly crisp dresses and docility. But she says Lebron, a transgender Puerto Rican woman, is re-definingwhat it means to be demureon her own terms.

"It opens up the possibility of what demure means."

It's interesting, too, that Lebron pairs demure with mindful, saysZorianna Zurba, an assistant professor in the Creative School at Toronto Metropolitan University. In this way, to be demure is also to be aware of the impact of our self-presentation on others, she told CBC News.

The fact that Lebron is transgender adds another layer of meaning about how she'sspecifically choosing to present herself, Zurbasaid.

"If it had come from atrad wife, it would mean something very different."

Demure, a counterpoint to brat

Demureemerged as kind of acounterpoint tobrat summer, a term already popular this seasonthanks to British artist Charli XCX's albumbrat. In a TikTok video, she described a brat as "that girl who is a little messy and likes to partyand maybe says some dumb things sometimes."

According to CBC Radio's SundayMagazine, the term brat morphed from there into more of a reclamation ofan empowered, strong-headed, disobedient woman.

LISTEN | What is brat summer?

After Lebron posted her video, demure caught on and spread online. Demurely, of course

Essentially, to be demure is to be reserved, or not brat, explainsEmily Zwicker, 20, a registered nurse in Halifax. Neat and tidy handwriting? Demure. Cute outfit? Demure. Going out partying with your friends every weekend? Brat.

"I'll wear a slicked-back bun, and I'll be like, 'See, I don't do too much with my hair. It's very demure, very mindful,' " Zwicker told CBC News.

"Iwish I could be demure, but I feel like I'm more on the bratside of things. On the weekends, Ilike to be brat, but when I'm working, I try to be demure," she said.

Everyone is suddenly 'very demure'

In addition to Lebron'sown viral content that continues to describe various day-to-day, arguably reserved or modest activities with adjectives like "demure," "mindful" and "cutesy," several big names have also hopped on the trend across social media platforms.

Celebrities likeJennifer LopezandPenn Badgleyhave shared their own playful takes. The cast of Netflix's Emily in Paris hopped on the trend, using "very demure and very mindful" to describe their outfits at the Season 4 premiere.

Soon after, Netflix created its own "very demure, very mindful" playlist, which includes Emily in Paris, Gilmore Girls, Bridgertonand Sweet Magnolias.

Even the White House used the wordsto boastthe Biden-Harris administration's recent student debt relief efforts.

"Cancelling the student debt of nearly 5 million Americans through various actions. Very mindful. Very demure," the White House wrotein a recent post on social media platform X.

The San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance recently explained the difference using pandas, describinggiant pandas as brat summer and "pumpkinspice pandas" (ie., red pandas) as demure fall.

Straightforward, right?

"It's hard to explain," Zwicker admits.

"It'sa word that people are just using in many different contexts. There's no right way to use it, but it's always used to describe something very reserved, very clean, very cute."

WATCH | It's been abrat girl summer:

Zurba, the pop culture expert withToronto Metropolitan University, says she also sees demure playing into the emerging under-consumption trend, in which young people are buying less and focused more on sustainability. (Like minimalism, but rebranded for GenZ.)

In her original viral video, for instance, Lebron says she doesn't "come to work with agreen cut crease," a dramatic eye makeup style that creates a contrast by using several different types of products.

"What she's suggesting is that femininity canbe myriad of things," Zurba said.

Including very demure.

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